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经典的搞笑段子,真是笑死人不偿命

趣聊2019-08-08 25 人围观
简介1、表白一个男生暗恋一个女生很久了。一天自习课上,男生偷偷的传了小纸条给女生,上面写着“其实我注意你...
1、表白 一个男生暗恋一个女生很久了。一天自习课上,男生偷偷的传了小纸条给女生,上面写着“其实我注意你很久了”。不一会儿,女生传了另一张纸条,男生心急火燎的打开一看“拜托你不要告诉老师,我保证以后再也不嗑瓜子了”。。。。。。男生一脸懵逼 2、有爱的父女 在公园里看到一对很有爱的父女,父亲大约五十岁左右,女儿二十来岁,女儿很乖巧的给爸爸剥了一个茶叶蛋,说说什么互相开怀大笑,好温馨的家庭。但是,为什么后来他们就舌吻了呢? 3、损友闺蜜 有一次和男友吵架了在电话里哭,闺蜜来安慰我,突然,他盯着我的眼睛看。冒出一句:“你的睫毛膏用的什么牌子的,这么哭成这B样,都没掉”。我真是气打不一处来,电话一扔也不哭了。 4、熊孩子 昨天因为一件事骂儿子,说你妈妈是猪,你也是头猪。儿子却反过来说我:爸爸你怎么这么衰,娶了一头猪,还生了一只猪!你说你这熊孩子,这是不是找打。 5、相亲 相亲见面会上,她侃侃而谈,说她以前的男友如何开豪车,住豪宅,经常夸她如何如何漂亮,一看到她就紧张。 他看了看她:“我,我一般看,看到美女,也,也会紧张的说,说不出话来。” 她噗嗤一笑:“你这种搭讪的方式真老土。” “但,但看到不,不好看的,就,就会结巴。” 那女的立马脸变成了猪肝色

1. Tell a boy that he has a crush on a girl for a long time. One day in self-study class, the boy secretly sent a small note to the girl, which said, "in fact, I have been paying attention to you for a long time." After a while, the girl passed on another note, and the boy anxiously opened it. "Please don't tell the teacher. I promise I'll never do melon seeds again." The boy looks confused 2, the loving father and daughter see a pair of very loving father and daughter in the park, the father is about 50 years old, the daughter is about 20 years old, the daughter is very clever to peel a tea egg for the father, tell what to laugh at each other, good warm family. But why did they kiss on the tongue? 3. My best friend once quarreled with my boyfriend and cried on the phone. My best friend came to comfort me. Suddenly, he looked me in the eye. Come up with a sentence: "what brand of mascara you use, so cry into this B, did not drop." I was so angry that I didn't cry when the phone was thrown away. 4. Bear child scolded his son for one thing yesterday, saying that your mother is a pig and you are also a pig. On the contrary, the son said to me: dad, why are you so bad? you married a pig and gave birth to a pig! You said you bear boy, this is not looking for a fight. 5. At the blind date meeting, she talked eloquently about how her former boyfriend drove a luxury car and lived in a mansion, often praising how beautiful she was and nervous at the sight of her. He looked at her: "I, I generally see, see beauty, will also be nervous to say, unable to speak." "the way you talk to each other is so old-fashioned," she chuckled. " "but, but if you see something that doesn't look good, it stutters." The woman's face immediately turned into pig liver

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